What a WHORE

Ever heard of Anna Benson?

You know, the soon to be ex-wife of Orioles pitcher Kris Benson? This lady is probably up there with Paris Hilton and Tara Reid on the "whores who are famous for reasons uncertain to the average man" scale. Only... she's not famous, and she thinks she is. I mean, really, really thinks she is. The news of her divorce is the most publicity she's had in months.

Let me start by taking the opportunity to say how heinously ugly Anna Benson actually is. She looks like some sort of diseased troll, with eyes that loll lazily every which way, a crooked smile, and flabby, saggy tits. I think she might have leprosy. Also, she was a stripper at one point, so with that background and her current attitude, you know she's swimming with more STD's than James Bond. If given the choice between having intercourse with Anna Benson and sawing my cock off, my only question would be "what kind of saw are we talking about? Power saw? Alright, you got yourself a deal."

And what's worse is she seems to think she is striking a critical blow for women's rights by posing for men's magazines like FHM. She thinks she will empower other baseball wives to do likewise... only they probably don't care about Anna Benson any more than anyone else does. Also, I am willing to bet that at least 70% of baseball players have wives that are way hotter than Anna Benson, only they aren't trashy whores who relish attention that they do not deserve. Even a douche like Curt Schilling has a wife who's better looking than Anna. And I guaran-fucking-tee that she does not have a "Susan (don't know her real first name) Schilling Enterprises" website where a flash intro of Kanye West's "Gold Digger" plays with a poorly drawn cartoon of her dancing like a trampy slut with huge, spinning dollar signs in the background.

The most important thing Anna ever did was marry Kris Benson. And now she embarassed the shit out of him so bad that he got shipped off the fucking Mets. And now, she is divorcing him. Most likely because Baltimore is not a glamorous enough or media-friendly enough place to flash your tits at little kids and threaten to bang every member of your husband's organization. Anna Benson is an embarassment to women everywhere. So long, you useless twat, good luck with your shitty internet poker business, I doubt anyone wants to play cards with a whore who looks like someone just shit on her face. And most people would probably be wary of contracting one of her 4,600 diseases through the computer.

Anna Benson should go back to being a stripper who blows hairy men in the V.I.P room for 5 bucks, because it's all she was ever good at. If she dropped off the planet, no one would even give a shit. But in a way, this divorce is the best thing for everyone... because now what the fuck is she famous for?

Oh, right. For being a whore who looks like someone shit on her face.