You're not Ray Charles. SHUT UP
Jaime Foxx ruled in "Any Given Sunday", playing QB "Steamin'" Willy Beamen in what many critics thought would be a star turn. Those critics were incorrect, as he spent the next three years making movies like "Bait", "Shade", and "Breakin' All the Rules". What no one really realized, and what I never realized until recently, was that Jaime Foxx sucks. Have you ever seen a Jaime Foxx standup comedy special? It is a truly shameful display. I tried to laugh, I really did. But I can only stand so many Puff Daddy jokes in one routine. And the Jaime Foxx show? What a joke (not the kind you laugh at). I think he works as a hotel bellhop in it... and he hits on some girl and makes stupid faces and crap. Real hilarious.
However, everything changed for Jaime Foxx (funny or not) when he signed on to play Ray Charles in "Ray". Little did we know that it would lead to the end of Western Civilization.
About 18 months and one Academy Award win later, and now Jaime Foxx is actually convinced that he IS Ray Charles. He has re-sung at least two of Ray's songs for lousy rappers to use in choruses for their shitty songs, inlcuding the incredibly shitty Kanye West. He has even released his own album. What's the title, you ask? Wait... wait for it....
Unpredictable. That's the title of Jaime Foxx's album. Unpredictable. I only wish I was joking. Also, a song on said album is titled "Do What It Do". Sound familiar? I will now set myself on fire.
What the fuck makes Jaime Foxx so fucking unpredictable? Unless he is being ironic, he should shut the fuck up. It seems to me he is the most predictable man alive. Here's a day in Jaime Foxx's life:
1. Wake up, look at self in mirror. Sing "I'm Willy Beamen" from Any Given Sunday soundtrack while nude.
2. Shower while holding Academy Award.
3. Put Academy Award in passenger seat on the way to music studio.
4. Call shitheel douchebag Kanye West, ask about a future collaboration.
5. Sing a hook from an old Ray Charles song, in order to whore it for some no-talent rapper to use it as a chorus in his latest shitty song about slutty women or selling drugs or both.
6. Say "I'ma do what it do!" at least 38 times.
7. Visit gravesite of Ray Charles, proceed to urinate.
8. Return home, listen to own CD, shove Academy Award directly up own ass.
Repeat.
If I hear one more shitty collaboration with Jaime Foxx slaughtering a Ray Charles song, I'm going to put him out. Bet on it.
You're not Ray Charles. Ray Charles rules. Jaime Foxx, you are an asshole. Deal with the fact that you suck and no one cares about you. Stop whoring him to further your own fame.
Ray Charles must be spinnin'.
However, everything changed for Jaime Foxx (funny or not) when he signed on to play Ray Charles in "Ray". Little did we know that it would lead to the end of Western Civilization.
About 18 months and one Academy Award win later, and now Jaime Foxx is actually convinced that he IS Ray Charles. He has re-sung at least two of Ray's songs for lousy rappers to use in choruses for their shitty songs, inlcuding the incredibly shitty Kanye West. He has even released his own album. What's the title, you ask? Wait... wait for it....
Unpredictable. That's the title of Jaime Foxx's album. Unpredictable. I only wish I was joking. Also, a song on said album is titled "Do What It Do". Sound familiar? I will now set myself on fire.
What the fuck makes Jaime Foxx so fucking unpredictable? Unless he is being ironic, he should shut the fuck up. It seems to me he is the most predictable man alive. Here's a day in Jaime Foxx's life:
1. Wake up, look at self in mirror. Sing "I'm Willy Beamen" from Any Given Sunday soundtrack while nude.
2. Shower while holding Academy Award.
3. Put Academy Award in passenger seat on the way to music studio.
4. Call shitheel douchebag Kanye West, ask about a future collaboration.
5. Sing a hook from an old Ray Charles song, in order to whore it for some no-talent rapper to use it as a chorus in his latest shitty song about slutty women or selling drugs or both.
6. Say "I'ma do what it do!" at least 38 times.
7. Visit gravesite of Ray Charles, proceed to urinate.
8. Return home, listen to own CD, shove Academy Award directly up own ass.
Repeat.
If I hear one more shitty collaboration with Jaime Foxx slaughtering a Ray Charles song, I'm going to put him out. Bet on it.
You're not Ray Charles. Ray Charles rules. Jaime Foxx, you are an asshole. Deal with the fact that you suck and no one cares about you. Stop whoring him to further your own fame.
Ray Charles must be spinnin'.
Labels: anger, celebrities
posted by guru at 8:04 PM
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