Who has the biggest balls?
Only someone who kicks as much ass as I do would make first round playoff picks with most series having already gone two games. Why? Because it's easier now!
WESTERN CONFERENCE
#1 Dallas Mavericks vs. #8 Golden State Warriors
pre series pick - Dallas in 6
after seeing a game - Golden State in 6
I don't think this is much of an upset. Dallas looks soft. Dirk looks tenative. They're playing very tense, missing free throws they usually make, turning the ball over, committing dumb fouls. Nellie is in Avery's head. Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson are playing pissed off. Monta Ellis is awesome. Also affecting this pick is the fact that I hate several Maverick players; Stackhouse, Devin Harris, Buckner, and Dampier all annoy me. Especially Stackhouse. Fucking tool. Nice singing voice.
#2 Phoenix Suns vs. #7 Los Angeles Lakers
pre series pick - Suns in 5
after seeing two games - Suns in 4
The Lakers suck. Luke Walton sucks. Smush Parker and Farmar suck. Kwame is awful. Brian Cook, Maurice Evans? Oh, they suck. Sasha Vujacic is awful. Kobe is predictably awesome.
On the other hand, the Suns are awesome. Nash is awesome. Stoudemire is awesome. Matrix is awesome. Barbosa is fucking amazing. Nash will eat Farmar's lunch, Phoenix will stampede over L.A., and I would be fucking shocked if the Lakers won a single game.
#3 San Antonio Spurs vs. #6 Denver Nuggets
pre series pick - Spurs in 6
after seeing two games - Nuggets in 7
I don't like the Spurs. They are too old, too slow, too boring. If AI and Melo bring it consistently, the Nuggets have a better than average shot to win this. Camby is a beast and Nene is looking awesome lately. Meanwhile, Bowen (asshole), Ginobli (nice bald spot), and Duncan (crybaby taintface) are still douchebags. Horry and Oberto too. Who the hell is Oberto? He looks like encino man.
#4 Utah Jazz vs. #5 Houston Rockets
pre series pick - Rockets in 6
after seeing 2 games - Rockets in 6
Nothing has changed in this prediction... the Jazz are still pretty good, Boozer and Williams are both pretty awesome, Okur should be able to make Yao uncomfortable on D, and I think Utah will win at least one at home. But, Houston has the best two players in the series and no one can guard Yao. Plus, Sloan is getting nothing out of AK47, which is mystifying to me. He could be a difference maker, but instead he's crying about PT.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
#1 Detroit Pistons vs. #8 Orlando Magic
pre series pick - Pistons in 4
after seeing two games - Pistons in four.
No surprise here. Orlando is pretty terrible except for Dwight Howard, who is immeasurably awesome at basketball. I'd be shocked if this wasn't a sweep.
#2 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. #7 Washington Wizards
pre series pick - Cavs in 4
after seeing two games - Cavs in 4
Would have been interesting with Gilbert and Caron, but this is a wash now. There is no contest here. LeBron doesn't even have to play that well to beat this Wizards team.
#3 Toronto Raptors vs. #6 New Jersey Nets
pre series pick - Nets in 6
after seeing two games - Nets in 7
I don't really think Toronto is that good; too inexpirienced, too young, and too streaky. Only one really good player, a pretty good PG, and a nice rook. Otherwise, what is there? Mo Pete?
The Nets, on the other hand, have three very good players, including RJ with his gay ass "RJ" tattoo. They have a lot of other pieces that I like as well, like B. Nachbar, M. Moore, A. Wright, J. Boone, and M. Williams. It wouldn't surprise me at all if they went deep in this thing, but Toronto will still be pesky.
#4 Miami Heat vs. #5 Chicago Bulls
pre series pick - Heat in 7
after seeing two games - Bulls in 4
Talk about a swing. The Bulls look tough. Tyrus is the man. BG and Deng are both pouring it in. The Heat suddenly look done; and injured Wade, an old Shaq, and a bunch of crumb bums.
Nocioni is a fag, though.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
#1 Dallas Mavericks vs. #8 Golden State Warriors
pre series pick - Dallas in 6
after seeing a game - Golden State in 6
I don't think this is much of an upset. Dallas looks soft. Dirk looks tenative. They're playing very tense, missing free throws they usually make, turning the ball over, committing dumb fouls. Nellie is in Avery's head. Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson are playing pissed off. Monta Ellis is awesome. Also affecting this pick is the fact that I hate several Maverick players; Stackhouse, Devin Harris, Buckner, and Dampier all annoy me. Especially Stackhouse. Fucking tool. Nice singing voice.
#2 Phoenix Suns vs. #7 Los Angeles Lakers
pre series pick - Suns in 5
after seeing two games - Suns in 4
The Lakers suck. Luke Walton sucks. Smush Parker and Farmar suck. Kwame is awful. Brian Cook, Maurice Evans? Oh, they suck. Sasha Vujacic is awful. Kobe is predictably awesome.
On the other hand, the Suns are awesome. Nash is awesome. Stoudemire is awesome. Matrix is awesome. Barbosa is fucking amazing. Nash will eat Farmar's lunch, Phoenix will stampede over L.A., and I would be fucking shocked if the Lakers won a single game.
#3 San Antonio Spurs vs. #6 Denver Nuggets
pre series pick - Spurs in 6
after seeing two games - Nuggets in 7
I don't like the Spurs. They are too old, too slow, too boring. If AI and Melo bring it consistently, the Nuggets have a better than average shot to win this. Camby is a beast and Nene is looking awesome lately. Meanwhile, Bowen (asshole), Ginobli (nice bald spot), and Duncan (crybaby taintface) are still douchebags. Horry and Oberto too. Who the hell is Oberto? He looks like encino man.
#4 Utah Jazz vs. #5 Houston Rockets
pre series pick - Rockets in 6
after seeing 2 games - Rockets in 6
Nothing has changed in this prediction... the Jazz are still pretty good, Boozer and Williams are both pretty awesome, Okur should be able to make Yao uncomfortable on D, and I think Utah will win at least one at home. But, Houston has the best two players in the series and no one can guard Yao. Plus, Sloan is getting nothing out of AK47, which is mystifying to me. He could be a difference maker, but instead he's crying about PT.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
#1 Detroit Pistons vs. #8 Orlando Magic
pre series pick - Pistons in 4
after seeing two games - Pistons in four.
No surprise here. Orlando is pretty terrible except for Dwight Howard, who is immeasurably awesome at basketball. I'd be shocked if this wasn't a sweep.
#2 Cleveland Cavaliers vs. #7 Washington Wizards
pre series pick - Cavs in 4
after seeing two games - Cavs in 4
Would have been interesting with Gilbert and Caron, but this is a wash now. There is no contest here. LeBron doesn't even have to play that well to beat this Wizards team.
#3 Toronto Raptors vs. #6 New Jersey Nets
pre series pick - Nets in 6
after seeing two games - Nets in 7
I don't really think Toronto is that good; too inexpirienced, too young, and too streaky. Only one really good player, a pretty good PG, and a nice rook. Otherwise, what is there? Mo Pete?
The Nets, on the other hand, have three very good players, including RJ with his gay ass "RJ" tattoo. They have a lot of other pieces that I like as well, like B. Nachbar, M. Moore, A. Wright, J. Boone, and M. Williams. It wouldn't surprise me at all if they went deep in this thing, but Toronto will still be pesky.
#4 Miami Heat vs. #5 Chicago Bulls
pre series pick - Heat in 7
after seeing two games - Bulls in 4
Talk about a swing. The Bulls look tough. Tyrus is the man. BG and Deng are both pouring it in. The Heat suddenly look done; and injured Wade, an old Shaq, and a bunch of crumb bums.
Nocioni is a fag, though.
Labels: basketball
posted by guru at 8:39 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home