MTV must be stopped!
Remember when MTV stood for "Music Television"? It was so long ago that most of the trendy dipshits who watch it now have no idea what "YO! MTV Raps" is and only know stupid shows like "Punk'd" (stupid spelling). Nowadays, MTV is about 95% bullshit and 5% shitty music videos. They only play bullshit like Ashlee Simpson and Pink. The rest is awful reality shows, documentaries that are packed to the brim with unintentional comedy, and... TRL? Here are the most obvious reasons why MTV must be taken off the air:
THE REAL WORLD: Yeah, I know, everyone loves this pile of shit, right? Well, you are a fucking idiot, what do you know. Take at least one slutty whore (somtimes two), a homosexual, a meathead, a sensitive guy and/or girl, and someone who has some kind of serious personal problem, along with maybe two other roommates who do absolutely nothing, and throw them into a mansion and film them. Awesome. Watch as the stupid women cry all the time, and the guys get plastered and attempt to score with as many whores as they can because they have a TV camera with them at all times! Exciting. We already know that women are attention whores, so who cares? Everybody fights over stupid shit and whines about their "job", someone always says that they "want to go home", and someone walks naked through the house. Real intelligent television. Later, the cast members show up on other shitfests like "Real World / Road Rules Challenge". This show marked the beginning of the end of Western Civilization. Not only did it start the reality show craze (not shitty Survivor, like most idiots think), but it was when MTV started to really go downhill. Now we have shows like...
LAGUNA BEACH: So, a bunch of semi-wealthy whores and douchebags go to parties with each other and fight somtimes. Anything else? And this is a show because... oh yeah, "the OC" was cool. Like 4 years ago. Maybe it's time to let this one die a dignified death, as all the cast members are washed up 30 year olds by now and a new cast would be more pathetic than "Saved By the Bell: the New Class". But this is MTV we're talking about, so it will probably run for 15 more unbearable seasons of bitchiness and self-importance.
MY SUPER SWEET 16: Spoiled whores can pout and bitch and manipulate their blood-belching vaginas that call themselves their parents into giving them extravagant birthday parties. Like people will care about your shitty party in 2 weeks anyway, is it worth the $2.5 million that your shithead daddy had to pay for an ice sculpture that looks like P-Diddy's cock? Who cares? The kids who attend these retard festivals are just using the birthday girl to go to an extravagant party. Afterward, they probably all congregate and talk about what a spoiled, rotten, stupid, slutty bitch the birthday girl is. Then they laugh and take out all the stuff they stole from the party. These stupid bitches on this show are part of what I call the "Paris Hilton effect"; they bitch and pout and complain and act like the Queen of England until they get what they want, because their father makes a lot of money. Like anyone gives a shit about your 16th birthday. Get over yourself. Or better yet, drink some Dran-o and kill yourself off before you can reproduce. Save me some sleepless nights.
PUNK'D: You knew it was coming. I'll admit, I like seeing celebrities in an uncomfortable spot. But that's because I hate celebrities. Except Bruce Willis, Johnny Depp, and Harrison Ford, who all kick ass. After however many years that Asston Doucher has been doing this, he has to resort to Z-list celebs like a kid from "Laguna Beach" (shameless cross-promotion, anyone?) or some stupid R&B singer that I've never heard of, or some other barely famous asshead. It's lame, it's not funny, and I hate Ashton Kutcher. I mean, Demi Moore? Her best years are far, far behind her. And her best years aren't very good. And she's like twice his age. And he's an asshole and not funny. Yeah, you made Lindsay Lohan think she had a parking ticket. Hilarious. Also, thanks to this show, we are now subjected to...
YO MOMMA: Quite possibly the worst show in the history of television. I would rather watch gay porn than watch anything with that fucking faggot Wilmer Valderrama in it. If you ever want to see the definition of unfunny comedy, watch this show. These people tell jokes like "you're momma's so hairy, she has a goatee on her ankles".... and people in attendance are forced (probably at gunpoint) to laugh. Also, there are a lot of fat jokes, when everyone knows that 80% of all good fat jokes are contained in Wierd Al Yankovic's "Fat" off his "Even Worse Album" (sample: "when I sit around the house, I really sit around the house." Classic). And they do this under the pretense of "repping their 'hood". And Wilmer takes a break from cruising high school parking lots for his next sexual conquest to say things like "keep it real" and "cash money" with a homosexual twang in his voice. Not only does this show set minorities back like 200 years, but it puts that cocksucker on TV more, and he has the nerve to give himself an Executive Producer credit as well. I will now slit my wrists.
TIARA GIRLS: Do you notice who MTV is aiming towards nowadays? Not people who like music, but stupid, slutty, spoiled twats who think that everyone should pay attention to them. Beauty pageants are the rock-bottom of our culture. Women who compete in them should be ashamed. They are objectified in them and forced to dress and act a certain way that is unnatural in order to win a stupid crown and maybe a trophy. Actually, since most women are idiots, I really don't care. But the parents on this show are the worst; the proclaim things like "you're getting fat" and "I don't car about your homework for the next three days, I'm calling your Principal tomorrow". Uh, I think school is more important than some dumbass fashion show where judges rate 16 year old girls like they are slabs of beef. But I honestly don't care. To me, it is the equivalent of of a black person saying, "I want to win the Slave-off in 2006", or a Jewish person saying "I'm busting my ass to win Ms. Holocaust this year". Point being, we all think we've moved past that stage, but some stupid fucking idiots can't seem to grasp that the world does not care anymore. God, women are so fucking dumb. You want euality, but readily accept the fact that pageantry is a sexist industry that parades women around judging them on their physical appearance? Either get on the same page or shut the fuck up.
MTV is for fruits and virgins. I hate everyone who watches it.
THE REAL WORLD: Yeah, I know, everyone loves this pile of shit, right? Well, you are a fucking idiot, what do you know. Take at least one slutty whore (somtimes two), a homosexual, a meathead, a sensitive guy and/or girl, and someone who has some kind of serious personal problem, along with maybe two other roommates who do absolutely nothing, and throw them into a mansion and film them. Awesome. Watch as the stupid women cry all the time, and the guys get plastered and attempt to score with as many whores as they can because they have a TV camera with them at all times! Exciting. We already know that women are attention whores, so who cares? Everybody fights over stupid shit and whines about their "job", someone always says that they "want to go home", and someone walks naked through the house. Real intelligent television. Later, the cast members show up on other shitfests like "Real World / Road Rules Challenge". This show marked the beginning of the end of Western Civilization. Not only did it start the reality show craze (not shitty Survivor, like most idiots think), but it was when MTV started to really go downhill. Now we have shows like...
LAGUNA BEACH: So, a bunch of semi-wealthy whores and douchebags go to parties with each other and fight somtimes. Anything else? And this is a show because... oh yeah, "the OC" was cool. Like 4 years ago. Maybe it's time to let this one die a dignified death, as all the cast members are washed up 30 year olds by now and a new cast would be more pathetic than "Saved By the Bell: the New Class". But this is MTV we're talking about, so it will probably run for 15 more unbearable seasons of bitchiness and self-importance.
MY SUPER SWEET 16: Spoiled whores can pout and bitch and manipulate their blood-belching vaginas that call themselves their parents into giving them extravagant birthday parties. Like people will care about your shitty party in 2 weeks anyway, is it worth the $2.5 million that your shithead daddy had to pay for an ice sculpture that looks like P-Diddy's cock? Who cares? The kids who attend these retard festivals are just using the birthday girl to go to an extravagant party. Afterward, they probably all congregate and talk about what a spoiled, rotten, stupid, slutty bitch the birthday girl is. Then they laugh and take out all the stuff they stole from the party. These stupid bitches on this show are part of what I call the "Paris Hilton effect"; they bitch and pout and complain and act like the Queen of England until they get what they want, because their father makes a lot of money. Like anyone gives a shit about your 16th birthday. Get over yourself. Or better yet, drink some Dran-o and kill yourself off before you can reproduce. Save me some sleepless nights.
PUNK'D: You knew it was coming. I'll admit, I like seeing celebrities in an uncomfortable spot. But that's because I hate celebrities. Except Bruce Willis, Johnny Depp, and Harrison Ford, who all kick ass. After however many years that Asston Doucher has been doing this, he has to resort to Z-list celebs like a kid from "Laguna Beach" (shameless cross-promotion, anyone?) or some stupid R&B singer that I've never heard of, or some other barely famous asshead. It's lame, it's not funny, and I hate Ashton Kutcher. I mean, Demi Moore? Her best years are far, far behind her. And her best years aren't very good. And she's like twice his age. And he's an asshole and not funny. Yeah, you made Lindsay Lohan think she had a parking ticket. Hilarious. Also, thanks to this show, we are now subjected to...
YO MOMMA: Quite possibly the worst show in the history of television. I would rather watch gay porn than watch anything with that fucking faggot Wilmer Valderrama in it. If you ever want to see the definition of unfunny comedy, watch this show. These people tell jokes like "you're momma's so hairy, she has a goatee on her ankles".... and people in attendance are forced (probably at gunpoint) to laugh. Also, there are a lot of fat jokes, when everyone knows that 80% of all good fat jokes are contained in Wierd Al Yankovic's "Fat" off his "Even Worse Album" (sample: "when I sit around the house, I really sit around the house." Classic). And they do this under the pretense of "repping their 'hood". And Wilmer takes a break from cruising high school parking lots for his next sexual conquest to say things like "keep it real" and "cash money" with a homosexual twang in his voice. Not only does this show set minorities back like 200 years, but it puts that cocksucker on TV more, and he has the nerve to give himself an Executive Producer credit as well. I will now slit my wrists.
TIARA GIRLS: Do you notice who MTV is aiming towards nowadays? Not people who like music, but stupid, slutty, spoiled twats who think that everyone should pay attention to them. Beauty pageants are the rock-bottom of our culture. Women who compete in them should be ashamed. They are objectified in them and forced to dress and act a certain way that is unnatural in order to win a stupid crown and maybe a trophy. Actually, since most women are idiots, I really don't care. But the parents on this show are the worst; the proclaim things like "you're getting fat" and "I don't car about your homework for the next three days, I'm calling your Principal tomorrow". Uh, I think school is more important than some dumbass fashion show where judges rate 16 year old girls like they are slabs of beef. But I honestly don't care. To me, it is the equivalent of of a black person saying, "I want to win the Slave-off in 2006", or a Jewish person saying "I'm busting my ass to win Ms. Holocaust this year". Point being, we all think we've moved past that stage, but some stupid fucking idiots can't seem to grasp that the world does not care anymore. God, women are so fucking dumb. You want euality, but readily accept the fact that pageantry is a sexist industry that parades women around judging them on their physical appearance? Either get on the same page or shut the fuck up.
MTV is for fruits and virgins. I hate everyone who watches it.
posted by guru at 8:50 PM
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